God's Love
A Police department in Georgia posted on Facebook that while Valentine's Day is traditionally set aside to celebrate with the special "love in your life," residents shouldn't "forget those ex's that did you wrong either!" They wrote, "Do you have an ex-Valentine and know they have outstanding warrants? Do you have information that they are driving with drugs in their car? Give us a call with their location and we'll take care of the rest,"
"For those unlucky exes that get turned in, the department is offering a "set of limited-edition 'platinum bracelets', free transportation with a 'chauffeur', a one-night minimum stay in luxurious accommodations and professional 'glamour shots' that will be posted online for all to enjoy." The department acknowledges the joke, but they are certain that "someone reading this is about to call and give someone up!"
Ah, love is in the air! You know there's something I've realized - the longer I have been in a marriage, the more I learn how much I didn't know... This morning, I do not come to you as an expert. There's a reason I won't be sharing 'Relationship advice from Ron' today. I'm planning on sticking with The Bible as the authority and admitting my own lack of qualifications on the subject here.
Tomorrow is indeed Valentine's Day and Valentine's Day is all about the celebration of romantic love between a...
I. Man and a Woman
And the very idea that a man would leave his father and mother and be united to his wife in marriage is God's idea in the first place. And am I ever glad, because even with romance, I'm still amazed how some of us men ever got a woman to love to us in the first place. I'm just grateful they do.
God invented romantic love, but you sure wouldn't know it in today's culture. In movies and TV - love, romance, sex - it's almost always portrayed as something completely separate from 'religion' or spirituality - as if man invented love. And of course mankind has tried to reinvent love and human sexuality and even redefined marriage. And on the one hand, they have elevated it to almost idol status - but in doing so they have also debased it by moving it away from God's original design.
Romantic love and sex was intended to be something sacred, something pure, something holy - something to be respected and revered in the marriage relationship of a man and a woman. Now it's become casual, recreational, something marketing firms use to sell products. But that wasn't God's design. And I take issue with anyone who says the 'the Church' is too uptight about sex when we actually have a higher view of sex than they do.
Outside of God's design all you have is an anemic, deficient view of love. Modern sexual attitudes and pornography objectify women, but we're supposed to believe that it's actually 'empowering' to women...?
God invented romance and the Bible does give specific commands regarding this sacred relationship. And I want to look at that briefly, so let's start with...
A. The command to men
Men - we know we are called to love our wives. And we know that that goes way beyond just flowers and candy one day a year. Let's look at Paul's words in Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV)...
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (26) to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, (27) and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (28) In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church'. It can't get more straightforward than that - but, that's a pretty tall order. - To be able to love as Jesus loved... But that is what we are called to do. And I'm guessing that compared to Jesus, you and I still have a lot of work to do. So men - I encourage you, take this command seriously, love your wives. Thinks of how you are showing love to the daughter of a King - your King. Yeah, I need to work on that, too. And now, let's look at...
B. The command to women
And this is an area where many men fear to tread - and understandably so. When 'Linda in the office' saw this on my outline - she immediately said, "I'll pray for you." So, let's cautiously look at this next passage from Colossians 3:18-19 (NIV)...
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (19) Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
'Wives, submit to your husbands'. That is not a particularly popular idea today. Many women see that as demeaning in a time when the idea of equal rights is so much more socially acceptable.
Now, I don't want to be labeled sexist or misogynistic on this subject, but I also don't want to just toss out or avoid any scripture because we feel as a society, we've evolved beyond such 'outdated notions'. Paul said, "Wives, submit to your husbands'. I don't ever want to contradict Paul and his teaching in scripture. I do believe that God has a spiritual purpose in His design for a Christian family and each person's role in that family.
That's not a popular stand today - and there should be discussions as to what exactly that passage means and how it is to be applied today. What I do know is that it is not about the wife being a 'non-person' or neglected, or abused or disrespected in any way. Notice what Paul wrote that immediately follows his command to women. He goes right back to the men - Husbands are again commanded to love their wives - to truly love them with every fiber of their being.
AND, I also know it's a whole lot easier for a woman to accept this command if her husband truly is trying to love her as Jesus loved the Church. My point is - Men, if a Christian wife is not 'submitting' to her husband, she may not always bear 100% of the blame... If we as men would work tirelessly to love our wives as Christ loves the Church - our families would be a lot different and our wives would be a lot happier.
As we're still on the subject of romantic love, I want to look at a passage of scripture that's included in many wedding ceremonies...
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (5) It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (8) Love never fails.
This is a section of what is commonly referred to as the 'love chapter' in 1 Corinthians. The entire chapter talks about love, but this small passage really resonates with a couple just starting out on the journey of marriage. And it should, but if we look at the bigger context, this passage is not just talking about romantic love. This passage we read from 1 Corinthians goes far...
II. Beyond romance
The Bible talks of many different kinds of love - of course the love between a man and a woman, but also affection, familial love, brotherly love, friendship and even the willful choice of love that unselfishly puts the needs of another above their own needs, despite current emotions or feelings. That kind of love finds its source in the Divine. I've got a brief video I'd like to us to watch...
(Video - "Love Found Me")
The concepts of love we read in the 'love chapter' from 1 Corinthians - they absolutely apply to marriage, but not just to marriage because God demonstrates His perfect love for us in Jesus. If you read the chapter before that passage, Paul wrote about getting along in the Church body. The 'love chapter' is not simply about romantic love, but really focused on the command to...
A. Love one another
Now while you can't 100% control an emotion, you can control your actions. When we see in scripture the command to love one another - it's about showing love in our words and our actions. Let's look at 1 John 4:10-11,19-21 (NIV)...
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (11) Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ... (19) We love because he first loved us. (20) If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. (21) And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
If you are going to follow Jesus, you're not really given the choice of whether to love each other or not. And again, we're not simply talking about emotions. I may not always feel 'warm and fuzzy' about everyone- but I am called to show love to them.
If you wait until you feel like loving your brother - it may not happen, but if you act in a loving manner towards your brother anyway- the emotions usually follow. That's how we can be commanded to love, because we are in control of our actions. - So, in the Church, we're called to love one another, but of course it even goes a step further. We're also called to love our neighbor.
Now it would be a whole lot easier if all we had to do was just love others in the Church who believed in the Bible and had the same basic values as us. But that's not the case. I just read a similar passage from Luke last week - but let's read what Matthew wrote in Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV)...
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" (37) Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' (38) This is the first and greatest commandment. (39) And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' (40) All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
We know we are called to love God, that's why we choose to be here on a cold Sunday morning. But we don't get to choose our neighbors. We're called to love those around us in the world. - Again, not about emotions as much as it is about actions. And then, as Jesus always does, He raises the bar for His followers even higher and commands us to...
B. Love your enemies
You know I've never really considered myself as one who had enemies - but I've found that has changed, but not by my choice. I don't necessarily consider others my enemies - but based on my values and convictions - even on my opinions - there are those who would consider me their enemy. Based on my belief alone in the 'sanctity of marriage' - that places me in opposition to some. And I think the last few years has really shown us all how easy it is to take sides and vilify the other.
I don't have to tell you that it's a whole lot easier to love people who are lovable and who love you. But Jesus' teachings were always a radical departure from the mainstream and from comfort. His words from Matthew 5:38-45a (NIV)...
You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' (39) But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. (40) And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. (41) If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. (42) Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
(43) You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' (44) But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (45) that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.
This is where love gets difficult. It's easy for me to love my wife. It's somewhat easy to love my brothers and sisters in Christ. It depends on who my neighbor is whether that's easy or not. But loving my enemies is seemingly impossible. - But if I want to follow Jesus that is what I'm called to do. And the expectation is that there must be evidence of our love.
If I accept Jesus' gift of grace, if I claim God as my Father - I have to demonstrate love; there must be evidence of that love in my life. In fact, according to scripture, the only authentic evidence that you are a child of God is your love. Just carrying the name Christian and going to Church doesn't make me a child of God.
1 John 3:10-11 (NIV)
This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother. (11) This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.
Those are some pretty strong words, but pretty clear. I can argue details and rationalize all I want - but if I can't figure out how to show love to my brothers, to those around me - if there is no evidence of love in my life - I can't claim to be a child of God.
1 John 3:14-16 (NIV)
We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. (15) Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. (16) This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
The more we read the more flimsy our excuses for not loving those around us become. We can't just talk about loving others on a Sunday morning - we have to live it, whether we feel like it or not. If you are God's - you are called to love.
God hasn't asked us what we think about loving our enemies or how we feel about it. God isn't taking suggestions about how love and forgiveness should work. God commands us to love one another, to love our neighbors and to love our enemies. It's up to us as to whether we try to obey or not.
So What?
We understand loving our spouse. We understand the benefit of loving our brothers and sisters. We can even kind of get why it might benefit us to love our neighbors, but loving our enemies? Really?
We can try to explain extenuating circumstances as to why our situation is different and we should somehow be exempt from having to show love to certain people - 'they started it', or 'they're the one deciding I'm the enemy, not me', or 'but they're clearly wrong and I'm right!" - but God's ways are always better than my ways.
My grudges and solutions to any conflict are only a temporary bandage. God's way heals the wound. God's ways provide an eternal solution. When I don't see things God's way - it's my job to fix that in me. And how do I fix that in myself? I need to draw near to God. I need to lean entirely on His Spirit in me. I need to surrender to Him.
Those people I come across that aren't very loveable, who may even be my enemies - Jesus loved them, enough to die for their sins. How can I dare carry His name if I don't even try to learn to show love to them as well? When you don't feel very loving towards someone - let Christ's love for them compel you to show love for them. When you choose to follow Jesus you are obligated to show love. We are called to live for Him and that calling demands love from us to others.